Internal Family Systems Therapy

IFS therapy session illustration – parts work in Melbourne

IFS (Internal Family Systems) is like having a heart-to-heart with all the different little voices in your head but in a good way.

You know how sometimes one part of you wants to speak up in a meeting, but another part wants to hide under the desk? Or part of you is excited about a new relationship, but another part wants to ghost them just in case? That’s totally normal.

According to IFS, we’re all made up of different “parts,” like an inner committee, each trying to protect us or help us in their own quirky way.

IFS helps you get to know these parts not to shut them up, but to understand why they’re there and what they need. It turns out even the part of you that’s super critical or anxious is actually just trying to help (badly, maybe but with good intentions).

Here’s how it works, in human speak:

You have lots of parts, some you like, some you wish would just take a nap.
These parts develop over time, usually as ways to protect you from hurt, rejection, or chaos.
Instead of fighting with them, IFS helps you befriend them. (Yes, even the one that binge watches reality TV, or doom scroll to avoid emotions.)
And underneath all those parts is your core Self, calm, compassionate, and wiser than you think.

IFS is like being the gentle team captain of your inner world. You get to understand why your anxious part shows up before dates, why your angry part takes over during traffic, or why your “perfectionist” is constantly rewriting emails.

You don’t have to change who you are you just get to lead your parts with more kindness and curiosity. It’s kind of like doing therapy with your inner family….. only no one’s arguing over who’s house for Christmas.

If you’d like to explore more about the IFS model, the official IFS Institute website is a great place to start.

Visit the IFS Institute

And if you're looking for a therapist trained in the IFS model—including those of us here in Australia who can say “parts” with an Aussie accent—you can explore the growing directory of practitioners at:

IFS Australia & New Zealand Practitioner Directory

Internal Family Systems Introduction- Richard Schwartz

Meeting Our Parts

Self

The quiet, steady flame at the centre of your storm. The one who listens without flinching, loves without condition, and leads without force.
It’s the you that shows up with soft eyes and open hands, offering compassion like a warm cup of tea to even the fiercest parts. No fixing, no forcing, just a gentle “I’m here,” and somehow, things begin to soften.
You don’t have to become Self. You just have to clear a little space and there they are, already waiting, like the sun behind the clouds.
Managers

The inner organiser, strategist, and occasionally over caffeinated life coaches of your system. This part is all about control, order, and keeping things running smoothly, preferably without any emotional eruptions, thank you very much.
Often misunderstood as bossy or rigid, your Managers are actually working overtime to protect you from overwhelm. Think of them as the tireless parent packing snacks, double checking the calendar, and trying to keep the chaos contained. They are brilliant, loyal, and just a little exhausted. With a bit of appreciation (and some Self-led support), they can ease up without feeling like the whole system will fall apart.
Firefighters

Your inner drama response team. Think emotional fire extinguisher with a flair for the theatrical. These parts burst onto the scene the moment things get too raw, too real, or too close to that old hurt we swore we’d never feel again. Cue: bingeing, scrolling, yelling, ghosting, reorganising the pantry at 2am. Whatever gets the job done.
Firefighters aren’t here to mess around, they’re here to save you (even if it means setting off the sprinklers in the process). Underneath the chaos? Fierce loyalty, lightning fast instincts, and a heart that just wants you to be okay. They’re not broken they are brilliant. Just… maybe a little loud.
Exiles

The tender little part carrying all the feelings no one else wanted to hold grief, shame, fear, longing. Often hiding out in emotional broom closets with tear streaked cheeks and hearts full of stories, Exiles are the soulful poets of your system. Sensitive, deep-feeling, and often unfairly blamed for being “too much,” they were never the problem, just the ones left holding it.
They are not broken. They are beautiful. And while they might speak in whispers (or sobs), their emotions are rich with meaning, memory, and the wisdom of what matters most. With safety and compassion, they become the fiercest allies for connection, authenticity, and truth. Basically, your inner truth teller curled up in a blanket fort, just hoping someone brings snacks and says, “I’ve got you.”